Corinneeatsghosts' Journals

I've been a beezy

I realized I've regrettably come off as a bitch here on Buzznet.

I've used Buzznet's journal feature as a place for me to post my rants, and alas, those petulant tirades have caused several of my online viewers to perceive me in an unpleasant light.
I'm a strong advocate of "assumption is asinine, but perception is reality," and though I've immaturely defended my sometimes-offensive words by pulling the "you don't know me" card, I have without a doubt been perceived to be â�“ not wrongly assumed to be â�“ a bitch.

I don't apologize for the things I've ranted about; I still believe in what I stand for one-hundred percent. But I understand that not everyone is going to agree with me, and there's no need for me to be a condescending twat about everything I write about.
I argued, "I"m not forcing you to read my blogs!" But the reality is, I have a pretty large audience via Myspace, and any blog or webpage of mine they happen to stumble upon should only represent me in the most positive light possible.

Really, I'm not a bitch. I can be pretty intolerable sometimes, but I'm not a generally mean person. And I want all aspects of my online persona to show that, whether on Myspace, LiveJournal, Buzznet, whatever.

I apologize to anyone I've offended, upset, or turned away because of my previous journals. I apologize to anyone I've ever fueled unnecessary online conflicts with, and I apologize to anyone who has ever been in the line of fire of my gauche outbursts.

I still "aspire to inspire," but I can't do that if I'm too busy being a snotty brat. So I'm hoping my Buzznet audience (if there still is one) will give me a second chance.

xoxo,
Corinne

The Internet is an Orgy of Charlatans

Social networking communities, online zines, and other places on the web that feature overrated bubblegum-haired scene queens and transgendered assholes are beginning to overflow in this toilet of pop culture.

Why are we paying our attention to these counterfeit â�œstarsâ�? What have they done but claimed the origin of some obnoxious trend or slept with members of your favorite band? Why are we not giving the photographers of these poster pin-ups any credit, but instead the monkeys who dance and crap themselves in front of the camera?

Granted, Audrey Kitching has actually accomplished something worth being credited for as sheâ�™s successfully exposed the alternative modeling industry, allowing other wannabe multicolored mannequins a chance at fifteen minutes of e-fame for being her ephemeral sidekick. But other â�œbuzzmakersâ� and web celebs have, for the most part, accomplished nothing but the reward of licking the shimmering asses of those truly in the spotlight.

Jealous? Vaguely. Irritated? Absolutely.

Those with true talent -- individuals using their own skills to create something clearly riveting and artistic -- sit in the audience while the spawn of Ronald McDonald parade around, pissing glitter on stage, and having the world ooh and ahh at how â�œgorgeousâ� it is.

For the love of God, what is wrong with you people?!

xoxo,
Corinne

I just wanna live Posi, yo!

Seriously, Iâ�™m just not interested in wasting my life testing products thatâ�™ll sell me a lesson Iâ�™ve already bought. I have no curiosity in experimenting with drugs; I donâ�™t have the slightest urge to dabble in alcohol; and Iâ�™ve already been through the wringer for playing around with sex that I can honestly say I donâ�™t have any intentions of giving my true virginity to anyone but my husband.

Life has so much more to offer than making clichÃ© mistakes and learning from them.

Iâ�™m not interested in talking crap about people anymore; Iâ�™m not interested in involving myself in drama that doesnâ�™t concern me; and Iâ�™m not interested in focusing on the negative comments people have to say about me.

Iâ�™m looking into the future, and I may not know exactly what Iâ�™ll want a couple years from now, but I do know how to get it. Iâ�™m living positively for Christ.

www.myspace.com/stuckwithpinsministries

xoxo,
Corinne

Top 5 Recent Fav Photographers

I haven't posted a journal in a while and figured I should open with a blog about photography.
After popular demand, I've finally started uploading my other work aside from self-portraiture onto Buzznet. You can check out the start of my Photography photo gallery here and view all my other work by visiting my website at stuckwithpins.com.

Here are some digital photographers whose work as of lately have captivated me (1 being the lowest, 5 being the highest):

#5. Joey Lawrence:

Joey is a 17-year-old, all self-taught photographer who, ever since being compared to (which I don't agree with but took as the biggest compliment of my life), has stood as one of my greatest influences in the field of digital photography. His use of lighting and setting as well as style of editing blows my mind.

#4. MichellexStar:

#3. Kencredible:

#2. Mehmet Turgut:

#1. Kevin Russ:

xoxo,
Corinne

Ultra Skinny Isn't Sexy Anymore

As I was doing my routine Googleing of my own name (yes, I admittedly Google search myself), a particular "scene queen" Internet personality who usually pops up in a relevant search (whose name I wont mention), revealed her weight of an unhealthy 86 pounds.
What strikes me even more is the fact that so many young girls swoon over her image and claim her as an "idol" when she previously posted harsh remarks about the "ugliness of anorexia."

Anorexia is a disease; slender is a body type.
Please learn the difference and stop striving for the wrong one.

I speak for a widely shared opinion when I say "skinny chicks just arent hot anymore."

I cant even watch Americas Next Top Model with any of my guy friends without them screaming, "Eww, gross!" at the television (and those girls arent even skinny skinny). And Ive asked a numerous amount of guys which physic they prefer:
this

or this

They all will agree that the preferred girl requires a sturdy body, durability, and "more to love."

I will proudly admit that I weigh an average of 123 lbs on my good days. Though I have been called "fat" several times in the duration of being an "Internet Icon" (quote unquote; please dont take that term seriously), I take full pride in the status of my bodys physical appearance.

"The average American woman is 54" tall and weighs 140 pounds."
- US Department of Health and Human Services

Im happy with my weight, Im happy with my "pot belly" (thank you Fabienne from Pulp Fiction for making men realized that tummies are sexy), and my fella is notably happier than I am with the size of my thighs and stomach.

Its unfortunate that we have celebrities and people in the public and online eye that represent a false statistic.
You want to be sexy?
Be confident in who you are.

xoxo,
Corinne

ps. Id just like to note before Im attacked on it: I am not saying that if you are skinny, you are unattractive. There are different body types and not everyone can control being "skinner than average." Being uncontrollably skinny is mocked just as much as being uncontrollably larger. But please stop striving to be something that your body wont just because some brat bragged about being the same size as one of my legs.Thank you.

Breakups Don't Suck so Bad

Ryan and I broke up Thursday night.
I won't go into immense details about what happened because I'm not the type of person to create enemies after a breakup, and I don't want anyone getting bias opinions about something they were never involved in. I'd just like everyone to know its over and I was the one who broke up with him. And yeah, as one person replied to me, "The perfect couple is over?" Strange, huh?

Don't say that you're sorry; be happy that I finally am not letting a boy who didn't appreciate me continue to take my worth for granted. And I'd just like every girl to know: you are worth someone's effort. Don't ever let a boy define who you are. "You are a treasure, not a target." And you deserve to be valued, sought after, and appreciated like an original, irreplaceable piece of artwork. There is no one else out there who is like you, and you are worthy of being treated like a rare jewel.

After going to Revolve Tour, a Christian women's conference in Anaheim, with my closest friends and 5,000 other women, I've completely been restored with a new outlook on life and an even stronger mindset. The first day we got there on Friday, I was crying on and off throughout the night and the pain was so unbearable. I kept thinking to myself, "How could this happen to me again? Why do I deserve to be treated like this? What am I going to do now; he was everything to me?" I know several girls can relate with me on that, and all I have to say is: never ever let someone be what you live for, and though it will happen in relationships, you never deserve to be treated with disrespect and you never deserve to be hurt. But now I feel like I shouldn't have any sorrow or regrets about this because God is going to use this to do so much greater things in both my life and possibly his.

"And you? Go about your business without fretting or worrying. Relax. When it's all over, you will be on your feet to receive your reward." - Daniel 12:13

I am not afraid to say I am worth something without apologizing for sounding vain. I'm not afraid to say I'm happy for who I am. I'm not afraid of saying I truly believe I am intelligent, beautiful, and deserving of someone who appreciates that. I'm not afraid to say I was wonderfully made by my Creator and will not be thought of as anything less than a masterpiece of God. "I am heaven sent; don't you dare forget."

If it's in God's will for us to be together again, I know it won't happen for a long time. Not until he can prove to me through his actions and make a complete turn-around change in his life that I am worth it and that he is ready to mature, not until then will we ever get back together. I'm done settling, I'm done waiting around for change, I'm done being a bandage or a crutch, I'm done running this race for him, and I'm ready to be the prize at the finish end for whoever is longing to have what it takes.

"Perfect couple."
I don't regret anything that happened between us because I know it was all for a greater plan. I don't hold any bitterness and I won't continue to feel heartache over it. There's no reason for me to try to erase him from my life when at one point, he was my life. I truly fell in love with a boy who I will remember for the rest of my life.

xoxo,
Corinne

Petco: Where the Pets Die

I've never been one to feel such resentment towards animal cruelty or actually even relate to a protest of PETA for that matter. But since this last week, I've not only developed bitterness for Petco but experienced the disgusting treatment first hand.

Last Monday, Labor Day, Ryan bought me an adorable panda-coated teddy bear hamster at Petco in San Marcos (CA) with all intentions of it becoming an enjoyable pet for us both to take care of and love for its estimated lifespan; that being 2 to 3 years. We didnâ�™t expect for it to die within two days.
Well, it didn't die on our hands but as I explained in my previous blog (on LiveJournal), the hamster was already sick and with my little knowledge of small animal diseases, I hadn't realized that the diarrhea at the bottom of the carrier box was the result of "wet tail," a disease that will usually take the life of a hamster if not treated immediately. Regardless of these obvious symptoms (irritability, hunched back, wet anal region, and watery feces), the employee who assisted us carried on with the purchase and allowed me to buy a dying animal. Ironically, this particular gentleman happened to be the store's "expert" in small animals and supposedly "knew his stuff."
Upon having the hamster for a day, I started to realize that something wasn't right with this one and it just didn't seem the same as the hundreds of hamsters I've owned in my past. I took it upon myself to do some research on the wellbeing of hamsters and to my surprise, my brand new pet fit perfectly the description of "wet tail" disease.

We called in on Wednesday, explained the situation, they apologized and told us we could exchange it for a new one and they would treat the sick one. Luckily for me being picky, the store had just got a new delivery of hamsters on Thursday and I was able to find another panda-looking one. This one was healthy, peed strategically, and made solid poops. We thoroughly cleaned out the tank and accessories we had kept the other one in with bleach and disinfectant, making sure that this one wouldn't contract remnants of the disease.

Friday night rolls around, I'm excited to get home and hold my new hamster, but notice when it flips over that there's a slight smear of dirty moisture soiling its underside. I point it out to my mom and she says to wait a day and see how it looks tomorrow, then we'll go to Petco to get medication for it. Not unexpectedly to me now, my new â�“ second time around â�“ hamster begins to develop the same symptoms that the previous hamster already exhibited. When I had posted a bulletin on Myspace about my first hamster, several people told me that the medications available had worked for them, so I decided I would treat it and not return it â�“ again. Everyone at Petco was completely useless in giving me advice and also didn't carry treatments in their stock. I left the hamster to tough it out the rest of Saturday until I could get the medicine on Sunday.

While at the Swap Meet on Sunday, I couldn't resist buying another hamster from a Pilipino man who had a cage full of strong, muscular, shiny, active, lively, and not to mention healthy little guys (ps. this hamster is still alive). On the way home, we stopped at the Petco in San Diego and bought Bene-Bac, a medication that's supposed to relieve stress and prevent diarrhea, and we also went to Kahootz in Escondido and bought Oasis Wet Tail Drops. I hand fed my sick baby some of the liquid drops and he happily accepted them, wanting more; for a while, I actually had hope that he would get better.

Later Sunday night, I check up on the poor hamster and he is obviously dying. I try to force feed him water from an eye dropper, but it's no use. The next morning, I wake up and he's dead.

Now one might blame me for the death of both hamsters, for not taking it to the vet for immediate care or for "stressing it out too much." But I have had hamsters for as long as I can remember â�“ and longer â�“ so long that I cannot count how many I've had over the years; I know how to take care of animals. I've bought them all from grungy little feed stores as a kid and once maybe from Petsmart, and NEVER have I had this happen. I'm completely disgusted by the uneducated staff at Petco; I'm disgusted by the animals' living environments and that the cage I obtained my first sick hamster from was not cleaned out when more hamsters were added; I'm disgusted that Petco refused to give me information on what I personally could do to treat my pet because they wouldn't be getting business and money out of it; I'm disgusted that an apology and refund of $7 or exchange is supposed to make up for the emotional hassle of having two animals die under my ownership within a week long period; I'm disgusted that this isn't an uncommon situation as one employee managed to slip up in saying, "Yeah, we have lots of customers return their hamsters 'cause of this."

"Petco stores are where animals go to die," - Dan Shannon, a PETA campaign coordinator

xoxo,
Corinne eats Ghosts.

Warped Tour

Ryan and I ditched school today and went down to Warped Tour at Coors Amphitheatre with Julia and Sarah. I can't say it was as worth it as skipping school for an all-day show might sound.

I can't put my finger on why Warped is just not as action packed at it used to be when I first started going in '04. Is it because it's the same, repetitive thing every year? Is it because I've grown out of the music scene and can't recognize a band worth tracking down anymore? Or is it because the kids are so consumed in looking "like a big deal" now rather than acting like a big family?

Regardless of the answers, the music festival I used to look forward to every summer and talk about for the next month and a half was sadly disappointing this time around. I really even only stood to watch about five bands throughout the entire day (Drop Dead Gorgeous, Still Remains, Throwdown, As I Lay Dying, Chiodos) and only caught listenings of music playing at the stages near the curbs that our asses assaulted.

I used to become so engulfed with excitement to see every band I ever liked, and meet and take photos with hundreds of my favorite musicians; I used get down and dirty, sweaty, crowd surf, and get my hair tangled and not care how far gone my eyeliner was; I used to come home smelling like stale cigarette smoke and musty body fluids with a bag full of shit you tend to collect throughout the day and a story I couldn't be able to stop telling until I'd shared it so much, I forgot how to tell it.

But what is Warped Tour to me now? Watching people fall over themselves wanting to meet Audrey Kitching, Hanna Beth, and Jeffree Star; seeing fourteen year olds dress like baby prostitutes and do things they could do at home like check their pages at the Myspace tent; and wondering how Warped Tour is any different than Comic Con, where people both dress up in costume and pretend to be something theyâ�™re not just for one day.

I can't say that Warped '07 was a total waste. We passed out Stuck with Pins {ministries} flyers and received recognition from a good handful of people who "knew us/heard of us on Myspace," and only noticed two flyers on the ground in our findings and only one girl kindly crumpled hers up in front of us as soon as she read it. Julia found herself working for Sugar Hooker most the day and supplied us with enough free canned Warped Tour water to hydrate an infant (at least we didn't have to sell our souls for a bottle of $15 water, right?). Ryan and I had some good times sitting together suffering from second-hand ganja, laughing our asses off to no sensible humor while Sarah and Julia actually did what you're supposed to do at shows: watch bands they like. And I came home with a cute sunburn and cowboy boot blisters on my toes.

xoxo,
Corinne

Your Interpretation of Scene Makes My Insides Digest Themselves

Honestly,
the Internet is so full of people looking for an excuse to be mean or rude to someone they never would have the gumption to utter an impolite word to if it were in person. Several of you donâ�™t even have the nerve to say anything to me through a recognizable username and instead sniper comment through â�œanonymousâ� and fake e-mails.

What happened to you being all â�œbr00t4l n sh1tâ�? The tuffxcore front got your tongue tied?

I admittedly am the biggest hypocrite when it comes to this whole â�œsceneâ� thing. I gag, and mock, and laugh, and throw around my defamatory comments about this or that â�œscene queen.â� I know Iâ�™m a part of this scene that I use in the butt of most my jokes. Iâ�™d have to be retarded to think other wise after having found myself suddenly suitable to your expectations of this â�œnew trendy emoâ� vogue.

But for God sakes, have a sense of humor.

Iâ�™m not making fun of Audrey Kitching, or Hanna Beth, or Kiki Kannibal, or Jac Vanek, or whoever the hell else. That included would be retarded of me considering the blatant fact that I donâ�™t know these people. I donâ�™t hate anyone (excluding River Stevens, but that is a completely different story) and especially donâ�™t reserve the right to hate anyone I donâ�™t know personally. I do though embrace the prerogative to mock a broad subculture that I coincidentally happen to be involved in by misfortune of stereotype.

In consideration of my newest photo set â�œThe Scene Is Serious Business,â� where did I ever make fun of Kiki, Audrey, or Hanna? I received comments from people saying ridiculous things such as

Anonymous: 08/14/2007 1:16 PM
have you looked in the mirror yet?
your hair isn't to far from'myspace' hair.
your only making fun of audrey and hanna because you feel the need to make yourself seem better, but your NOT for making these.
it's completely immature, and you, get over yourself.
Anonymous: 08/14/2007 1:13 PM
get over yourselfs.
clearly, you need to critize other people to make yourself seem better.
your no better then kiki kannibal for making these.
let people dress the way they want, it's their bodys.

Iâ�™m sorry, but I donâ�™t recall directing my attack at any three specific people. I simply tagged the photos with their names (which one in fact even stated â�œnot kiki kannibalâ�), while you on the other hand made the crime of assuming I was mocking your beloved bubble gum haired idols. And when did I say, "Save your soul! Don't dress like this!"? Even cast members from Zoey 101 would admit that the attire and make-up composed for this shoot is entirely tasteless and tacky. But like you said, "it's their bodys." :/

My point is:
shut up.

xoxo,
Corinne eats Ghosts.

Haha, MORE! :D

profesh777: 08/15/2007 1:06 AM
This really backfired on you. Despite what you think, these photos make you look like an idiot. I know that when I look at this picture, all I see are some girls that are trying to make fun of the very thing they want to be a part of. Maybe if you stopped trying so hard, your wish would come true.

anddkev: 08/15/2007 3:24 PM
losers haha fucking wanna bees.......be your self..and if that doesnt work than stop.

Anonymous: 08/15/2007 8:44 AM
qouted from up above: she can do what she wants

if she can do what she wants, then why is she making fun of other people for doing what they want. it's pretty fucked up if you ask me. leave people alone ' corinne eats ghosts' because you seem to think you're better then everyone else. not to mention how fucking scene your, hair, name and clothing is.
if you think you're right in ANY way for doing these pictures, you're wrong, you're no better then any other scenester on myspace.
qouted: ou only don't like it because you know I'm making fun of you. So if you make a rude comment I'll assume you think you're scene as shit.

is this your lame attempt for people not to tell you off for this.
you're purely jealous of audrey and hannas success, i'm sure there is a lot of people who would like to beat the face off you for making this.

Suzye: 08/14/2007 9:50 PM
I'm just curious as to why you're making fun of the so called "scene" when in all of your pictures, you look like a typical "scene" girl.

hellaboss: 08/15/2007 12:56 AM
you girls are too ugly to be doing scene satire jokes. go get your mullets fixed

Anonymous: 08/15/2007 4:26 AM
JEALOUS AND OBSESSED WITH KIKI?????

KIKI IS BEAUTIFUL, CLASSY, SEXY AND THIN,

EVERYTHING YOURE NOT.

Anonymous: 08/15/2007 8:38 AM
not to mention how photoshoped you guys are.

Keep 'em commin'. :)

The Real About Me

(I had originally posted this on my Myspace, but I felt I should post it here too because people tend to think I'm only here to be a hypocrite and make contradicting statements about "that scene queen." But I'm not. I actually do something *surprise surprise*. )

I usually prefer to keep my actual life out of Myspace because I'd rather not have people feel as if they have me all figured out because of a webpage. I fancy being a mystery. But I always seem to go against what I'd rather and I'm tired of these misleading opinions about me floating around.

I am Corinne (and the only Corinne eats Ghosts).
I am a believer, a photographer, a designer, a girlfriend, a revolutionary, a role model, and more than just a few self-portraits.

I live my life for God and God only. He is why I'm living and why I'm blessed everyday with the people around me and the life that I have, the personality I have, the appearance I have, the life experiences I have, everything. I don't have a religion, I have a relationship. Christianity didn't save me; Jesus did.
I don't smoke, drink, do drugs, and I proudly am a virgin. I guess to everyone that means I'm "xedgex" and "bootyxfree" â�¦ Whatever. I choose to exist clean because I have better things to be doing than "living in the moment," and my boyfriend and I are proudly saving ourselves for marriage.
I'm not ashamed of what I stand for and I'm not afraid to try to get you to feel the same way. I live something amazing and I won't be hesitant to share my beliefs with you.
I have recently started my own alternative ministry project called Stuck with Pins, fighting against the stereotypes of believers and promoting the truth about living for God. I am truly thankful for this opportunity to work with "kids of the underground" and help clear the fog that has left so many blind. Through my ministry and with the help of God's blessings, I am changing individuals' lives and making a difference. (We are already blowing up around the states and hopefully in the near future we'll be holding some events affiliated with Revolution, such as benefit shows, booths, meetings, etc.)

I have been experimenting in photography for over six years. And I've come a long way in improvement over time. My gallery can be seen at stuckwithpins.deviantart.com. I occasionally will photograph for local bands, friends, and other projects. (Hit me up with a Myspace message or a private note at DA if you're interested in a shoot and we can maybe arrange something.)

I am currently working on pursuing a career in graphic communications. I do a lot of design work, from page layouts to t-shirt prints (all my Myspace layouts are created by me, and you can see some of my tee designs both here at Threadless.com and here at my retired line; also if you're a company, band, whatever, and you're interested in a serious layout, message me up for pricings).

Despite anything you've heard, I am not perfect (cha, I know; surprise, surprise). Nor do I believe I am. I don't feel I'm better than anyone else. I'm not conceited, and I'm not stuck up. (Just so you know, gossip is inaccurate. It's like the game Telephone; what you hear is usually pretty distorted from the truth.) It's been said throughout Myspace by some that I'm a "mean person and that I'm into myself." So if you really believe that for one second before talking to me, then I'm sorry. But this is Myspace, and just because I didn't find the desire to reply back to "hey ur pretty wuts up?" does not mean I'm vain. Don't assume things about me; you end up looking like more of a bitch than you suspect I am.

I am Corinne.
I have no haters, no fan clubs, and no hyped-up scenester ego.
I am real. And really don't care about your lies and drama.

Love,
Corinne eats Ghosts.